Marlene always liked things big. Some people insisted that size doesn’t matter, but Marlene knew better. At Christmas, when she was young, she always ensured that she had the biggest stocking hung on the fireplace mantle, and as a teenager, she would never settle for a short boyfriend, he either had to always be the biggest in the class, or at the very least, bigger than her.
Marlene’s standard modus operandi, was to see what everyone else had, and than somehow find a bigger one. This attitude worked well for her, but every once in a while, it got her in trouble.
Marlene had just graduated from university, and as a reward she was touring Europe with a couple of her girl friends. After a couple of weeks of travelling, they found themselves in Brussels. Everything started out harmoniously but by this time, her friends were a little tired of her always wanting big, especially since she always took the biggest bed in any triple room that they shared.
They had just left the hotel and walked to the Grand Place; and yes, they were all suitably impressed with all the grand, old buildings, especially with all the exquisite statuary and beautiful, shiny gold leaf on the façades. Like typical tourists of course, they sat at a café on the square and had a delicious Belgian beer. Marlene, naturally, wanted the one served in the huge, glass boot and enjoyed it immensely, until that is, she had drunk the beer up to that certain point and the foot part gushed out…. It only made a small stain on her shirt, so she didn’t feel too chastised by the experience.
They next went to see Manneken-Pis; he was world famous and had almost a thousand costumes, so that every few days they dress him in something different. Today, he was wearing the uniform of a fireman… and Marlene was so disappointed… he was so small, (as was his fireman’s hose)! At only 2 feet tall, the biggest thing about him was his pee stream… (in relation to his own size of course).
After that disappointment, Marlene needed something to console herself and so they strolled further down the lane to an ice cream shop.
On arriving, Marlene’s friend’s saw her eyes widen and her tongue come out of her mouth as she peered at a huge, blue Manneken-Pis statue. She studied it for a moment and then said, “Yup, That’s my size, that’s what I want. In fact, I just have to have it.”
Marlene’s friends were aghast; for the last two weeks they had always bought small souvenir’s in each city, and now their luggage was pretty full. Why was Marlene infatuated with this huge Manneken-Pis. They knew size mattered for her, but they had to call her out on this… an intervention was needed …
Marlene saw the bewilderment on her friend’s faces, and then it struck her… “Guys”, she said, “I’m talking about the double ice cream cone …”
Author’s note: I took this picture near the Manneken-Pis statue in Brussels. I don’t know who the woman in the hat is, but she is definitely eyeing the ice cream.