It’s so cold! The frozen air seems to cut right through me; and I can’t see, let alone feel, my toes.
Fafard’s cow has it right, it’s snuggled under a blanket of snow, keeping warm like an Inuit in an igloo.
I need to put on some clothes. I wish I could develop a cult following like Maneken Pis in Brussels; they love him and dress him up in something new every day, I’m sure he doesn’t freeze his bolts off.
Maybe I’m not as popular as Maneken Pis because he is anatomically correct; the only reason I’m flat down there is because my sculptor was lazy … I’m sure he would call it artistic license, but I know it was laziness. He made me out of interconnecting chrome blocks, so he could have easily added something, the size of which, would have made me proud… Nope, he’s just lazy.
If I’m going to get out of this cold, I’ll need an angle; maybe I could market myself as the upscale Lego man. They made movies out of plain old Lego characters; so they could easily make movies with me; upscale movies, classy movies, something like what Trump would make, if he made movies.
I can never understand why people live in this god forsaken climate. The summer’s nice and it is fun seeing the tourists ogle all us outdoor sculptures; but once the white stuff comes down, the tourists flee and there is nothing to watch and take my mind off this mind numbing cold.
I need to find a way to get to Florida.
Maybe I can get the Montreal mayor, Denis Coderre, to make me the Icon for the new baseball team he is trying to lure here. They could put me inside City Hall in the winter, and then move me down to Florida for spring training. Denis has classy, grandiose ideas and I’m made from classy blocks, so this could be a marriage made in heaven… I hope he gets re-elected.
Author’s Note: There are a bunch of lovely sculptures outside the Musée des beaux-arts de Montréal, including this one ‘Building VI’ by Antony Gormley, and of course ‘Claudia’, Joe Fafard’s life sized, bronze cow.
Perhaps a fashion designer could make him classy clothes. This doesnt look like a baseball player, perhaps he should stay where he is, to provide frozen photos.