“This is a fine mess you got us into!” complained Bill, “You just couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you?”
“Don’t get uppity with me; I wasn’t the one trying to get cozy with that lap dancer,” responded Art.
“Well if you didn’t try to be a holier than thou chaperone and pull me away,” Bill answered back, “you wouldn’t have got your face slapped.”
“In Canada,” Art countered testily, “a lap dance is a non-contact sport. I was pulling you off to make sure she wouldn’t complain about your aggressive behaviour to the bouncer.”
“if you only did that,” protested Bill, “it wouldn’t have escalated. But since you were slurping down the drinks big time, you had to make an immense show of it. You acted as if the whole world was watching you save this damsel in distress, and you made a big flourish of your actions. I must admit though, it was spectacular how far the liquid in your gin-fizz flew.”
“Yeah,” said Art, “I guess, those big bruisers at the neighbouring table weren’t too happy. But Bill, did you have to respond like a crazed Yankee… dissing them was like a chihuahua yapping at a pit bull.”
“Art, Art, Art, you’re all show and no go. Luckily for you, the bouncer came over before it got real serious.”
“Well I don’t know Bill; when the bouncer took one look at you, he laughed so hard, I thought he was going to piss himself… and then he called the police.”
“Look, how was I to know the bouncer was going to give us a hard time,” Bill replied, “People normally don’t look at me too closely. I can usually pass around in polite company with no problems.
“The Cops looked pretty serious though;” Art replied. “And those handcuffs went on pretty quick.”
“I must admit,” Bill conceded, “that was pretty good acting; foaming at the mouth and yelling rabies.
And then when the cops stepped back; you, crashing the table with those big bruisers, the cops in pursuit, starting a huge melee; that was sheer artistic brilliance. And you caught it all on your GoPro camera as well, priceless.”
“Yeah,” said Art in a dignified voice, “luckily the cops were gullible; but next time we go out Bill, clean up! Don’t look like a phony 3-dollar piece of currency.”
“That’s a deal,” said Bill, “if you don’t walk around, living life, like a Performance Artist.”
Author’s Comment: I want to thank Terrence Li from the Shut Up and Write Group for this great picture.