Moses had his burning bush, and Noah had his voices. Myself I’ve been given the finger.
Moses knew what to do right away, he began chiselling rock; and Noah, he started sawing boards and nailing them together; but for me, the task isn’t quite so obvious. I feel something isn’t right, but I can’t seem to put my finger on it.
There doesn’t seem to be a user manual for this prophet business. I really need a ‘Prophet for Dummies’, or a ‘Prophet’s Best Practices’ or even a ‘Prophet for Profit’. I really am at a loss as how to start.
I’ve heard that a lot of biblical prophets went out into the desert for 40 days; contemplating and starving themselves, but nowadays that seems a bit much. I wonder if turning off my smartphone for a few days would be the equivalent?
I’ve thought about ignoring these signs. I could say I just overdosed on legal marijuana and was seeing weedy visions, but the finger keeps following me. Showing up in the strangest of places; like here in this small town in Norway.
I should point out that I haven’t had this finger fixation long. Before, I was a regular Joe with a regular job, I even had a condo and a mortgage.
Then last year, I went to Florida on vacation, to see a Falcon lift off the pad at Cape Canaveral. That’s when I saw my first finger. While everyone was talking about the rocket streaking into the sky and feeling the engine roar in their chest; I saw Elon Musk’s third digit in the upright position … giving me the finger.
Now I’m obsessed with fingers and see them everywhere I go. I can’t even visit Toronto anymore without seeing the CN Tower giving Montreal the finger. And don’t get me started about the Finger Lakes in upstate New York.
Even my mindless escape in old 1960’s TV shows has been contaminated. The Rowan and Martin’s ‘Flying Fickle Finger of Fate Award’ has made it obvious; this all points to a grand conspiracy.
I don’t want to point any fingers, but I’ve begun to document all these signs, and I need to warn the world about them. But as I said, there are no help guides, so I’m really at a loss as how to start.
What’s that you say?
I should start by creating a MeetUp Group … and find 12 participants.
Author’s Note: Thanks again to Terrence Li from my Shut Up and Write Meetup Group for giving me this wonderful picture.