Ted's Adventures

Buda’s a cool guy. You see him everywhere you go in South East Asia. He’s the man.

But you never hear him though. He always has his mouth closed in a serene smile. Why is that?

I’ve heard two schools of thought about silent Buda.

One is, Buda doesn’t seem to talk because he is a ventriloquist. He speaks through the many people around you in your life. That makes a lot of sense if you believe in the good of humanity.  If you’re a “half-full glass” kind of person. Think Mother Teresa, think that little old lady down the road that takes care of all the stray cats.

A more pragmatic school of thought, though, believes Buda is wearing an invisible N95,000 viral mask. One that muffles his voice, but not completely. You really have to stop what you are doing, take a deep breath, and listen hard, before you can hear him.

But why would he do that? You’d think Buda would want his message of peace and love to spread far and wide. Proselytizing Christians try to spread their message by going door to door, so why would Buda put his light under a bushel?

So, that begs the question, why the virus mask. Is Buda protecting us from himself? Is there some virus, some sort of “Corona Ecclesiastica” that has run amuck in Nirvana? A virus that the inoculation of meditation and prayer, is unable to defeat?  

The “half-empty glass” people would not be surprised. They would readily say the world needs to be protected; we need to build a wall. And Buda needs to keep that mask on.

But what if Buda was protecting himself from us?

What type of virus would affect a deity? What kind of virus would a deity need protection from?

It’s evident that modern man has caught some sort of contagion. Some raging virus is definitely running amuck, manifesting itself in strange symptoms, like Trumpism, Brexit fever, climate change denial. Yes, something has gone viral throughout humanity, and it’s sapping our mental and moral prowess.

This contagion, if left unchecked, could even spread to Nirvana. The wisdom and purity of Heaven could fall to it. I am certain that’s why Buda is wearing the mask.

But I think we can be optimistic. I feel that this fever of selfishness and small-mindedness is breaking, the contagion is subsiding. How can I tell? Because we all seem to be in this fight together. We are finally acknowledging a problem that is bigger than our own backyard. People are now social distancing, and like Buda, are wearing viral masks.

Author’s Note: My apologies to those of the Buddhist faith, if my irreverence has offended you.