It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?
I am so happy to be alive. You know why? Because it’s the first day of my new job, here in the park.
I’m so excited to start; I put on my best whites and even went to the hair salon. Do you like my bouffant? It’s pretty tall and impressive, isn’t it? In this job, you need to project style and class because people look to for expertise.
But not just any pretty face can do this job. I had to take the course. Yes, it was only a two-day crash course, but I am ready to work in the field now, and as I gain experience, I’ll be able to take my certification exams in three years. So, you see, I am ambitious and ready to help.
I know you are confused; there are so many varieties to consider. But don’t worry; taste and provenance should be your foremost considerations, and I will be there to guide you through your decision.
Colour is the first thing to decide… white, yellow, or brown. Each colour imparts a hint of flavour. Each has aficionados who will swear that their favourite is the best. But I counsel you to let your pallet decide. Listen to your pallet and your nose. You may only like one type, and that is perfectly fine. Don’t let the snobs bully you into thinking your tastes are inferior.
The second thing to consider is provenance. Does it come from a densely populated, well-travelled zone, or a more rustic, pristine zone? These will have some impact on both taste and cost. You have a finite budget, and you should never mortgage your house to indulge your tastes.
So relax; I will lead you through the tastings and give you time to savour the essence of each. We will first start with the lightest and work our way down to the most flavour-rich. Generally, the colour will indicate the depth of flavour to expect. Of course, you need to stay away from tasting when the colourant itself is present. Then the flavour will be too strong and bitter. Are you ready then? You may have noticed this small shovel around my neck, I will use it much like a sommelier or wine steward would use their tastevin, not only as a badge of honour but also as a way to easily pick up the snow for tasting.